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I had a Liam Neeson nightmare. I dreamt I kidnapped his daughter and he just wasn't having it. They made three of those movies. At some point you have to wonder if he's just a bad parent.

Ripley, from Alien 3!

Fuck, you're old.

[cackles] Fake laugh. Hiding real pain.

Let us go talk to the Professor.

McAvoy or Stewart? These timelines are so confusing.

And you are?

Negasonic Teenage Warhead.

Negasonic Teenage... what the shit? That's the coolest name ever!

It's a big house. It's funny that I only ever see two of you. It's almost like the studio couldn't afford another X-Man.

Now, I'm about to do to you what Limp Bizkit did to music in the late 90s.

Looks aren't everything.

Looks are everything! You ever heard David Beckham speak? It's like he mouth-sexed a can of helium. You think Ryan Reynolds got this far on a superior acting method?

Love is blind, Wade.

No. You're blind.

All dinosaurs feared the T-Rex!

I should have come and found you sooner. But, baby, the guy under this mask, he ain't the same one that you remember.

You mean this mask?

[to Angel Dust] You're a lovely lady, but I'm saving myself for Francis. That's why I brought him.

I prefer not to hit a woman, so please...

[Angel Dust decks Colossus and sends him flying]

I mean, that's why I brought her?

[Deadpool points at Negasonic Teenage Warhead, who is busy on her phone]

Oh, no, finish your tweet. It's not... That's... [to Angel Dust] Just give us a second. Yeah. [to Negasonic Teenage Warhead] There you go. Hashtag it.

Oh, I so pity the dude who pressures her into prom sex.

But the douchebag does think your dead, right?

Yeah.

That's good. You should keep it that way.

What, like, wear a mask?

Yes. A very thick mask. All the time. I am sorry... you are haunting. Your face is the stuff of nightmares.

Cancer is only in my liver, lungs, prostate, and brain. All the things I can live without.

I'd go with you, but... I don't want to.