Питер

Carl, I know it's you.

Oh. Hey, man. I was just about to call you. That's so weird. Had your number dialed, was about to press 'send'. Did you block your number?

Yeah, I did. You never answer when I don't.

You did get my text, right?

What? Text? What?

We're all going out tonight.

Man, that sounds great. I wish I could join you. I'm just so jammed up. I'm totally off the grid, you know?

No, I don't at all.

I got a bunch of stuff going on. There's this thing I gotta do. Any other night would've been great.

I don't think there's anything written down in your fake calendar.

No, it says specific things.

Specific things. Like 'get in line at the video store'?

What? What are you talking about? I'm not at the video store. I'm in my apartment.

I can see you, Carl. I'm outside the video store.

That's not me.

Look who's here.

Hey. You.

I don't believe it.

Rooney.

Carl Allen. Never thought I'd see the day, my man.

I'm so glad I came out. Love it. Okay, you know what? I gotta go.

No. No. Carl, you're gonna stay.

What?

It's been years. You leave every time she comes.

Totally unrelated. It has nothing to do with Stephanie.

Carl. Peter. Rooney.

Stephanie, guys.

You're leaving?

Yeah, unfortunately. Terrible timing too, because you just got here.

You just got here, too, Carl.

Yeah, but he's got a thing.

Yeah, that's a thing. There's a thing, and there's no time. There's a time crunch, and time is of the essence.

You missed my engagement party tonight.

Oh, no. Oh, shoot, you're kidding. That was tonight?

Mm-hm.

I'm so sorry, man. I totally gapped it. Listen, I'll make it up to you. I promise. I swear. You pick the day. Any day you want, we'll go out, swashbuckle.

And guess what? She doesn't like my best friend. I keep trying to think of reasons why she should, but you know what? I can't think of any. I don't wanna hear another excuse, Carl. You do whatever you want. I'm telling you, you don't change your life, you're gonna end up lonely. A lonely guy, Carl. Lonely guy.

Hey, Rooney, come here for a second. Carl look a little odd to you? Is it me, or does it look like he's kind of dead?

Nope. No more than usual.

I don't know. I'm kind of leaning towards thinking he might actually be dead.

I guess I never saw him a lot, so it's hard for me to tell the difference.

I'm telling you, man, things are different.

Okay. Wait, so wait. You have to say yes to everything?

Yeah, exactly. It's like you said: I wasn't open to stuff, and now I am... and things are changing for me. It's like the era of yes has begun.

All right. Look, gets you out of the house, I'm all for it.

Excuse me. Could we get another round of drinks? And actually, we're gonna start a tab and our good friend here, Carl, will be taking care of it. Well, you're okay with that, right, buddy?

Yes. Yes, I am.

I think you and I need to step outside.

No. God, no.

Okay, it's okay. I got this. I got this. Okay. But if I win I get to take that pretty girl of yours to a ball because she deserves that. Every pretty girl deserves to go to a ball.

That is so nice.

He punched me right in the face, man.

Don't worry. I got your back.

You don't have anybody's.

I'm sorry, man. It's all our fault.

I haven't fighted in a fight since grade 7.

I know.

Hey. Are we gonna fight or what?

Yeah, we're gonna fight. We're gonna fight, all right. Okay?

So my friends are being really lame and nobody's offered to throw me a bridal shower.

Hey, I have an idea. Carl, would you like to throw Lucy a bridal shower?

Yeah. Sure. Why not? That'd be great. Yeah, I'd love that.

Problem solved.