Дэдпул

Oh, joke away. One thing that never survives in this place is a sense of humor.

We'll see about that.

I suppose we will.

Do you have off switch?

Yeah, it's right next to the prostate. Or is that the on switch?

Shit! I forgot the ammo!

I'm just a bad guy who gets paid to fuck up worse guys.

I did not tell him to do that! Absolutely not! It got lost in translation. Dopinder this is no way to win Gita's heart back!

[Whisper] I am so proud of you.

Drop Bandhu off, safe and gentle-like.

[Whisper] Kill him.

And then win Gita back the old-fashioned way with your boyish charm.

[Whisper] Kidnap her.

You ate breakfast, yes? Breakfast is most important meal of day. Here, protein bar. Good for bones. Deadpool may try to break yours.

I need guns.

Which ones?

I need all the guns!

Use seltzer water and lemon juice for blood. Or wear red, dumbass!

That's, uh, $27.50.

I... I never carry a wallet when I'm working. Ruins the lines of my suit.

Oh.

But, uh, how about a crisp high five?

I got a plan. You're not gonna like it.

Don't make me ask twice... where's Francis?

[later] He made me ask twice! Is the mask muffling my voice?

Wade! Four or five moments.

I'm sorry?

Four or five moments that's all it takes.

To...?

Be a hero. Everyone thinks it's a full-time job. Wake up a hero. Brush your teeth a hero. Go to work a hero. Not true. Over a lifetime, there are only four or five moments that really matter. Moments when you're offered a choice - to make a sacrifice, conquer a flaw, save a friend, spare an enemy. In these moments, everything else falls away. The way the world sees us. The way we...

[Deadpool gets bored and shoots Ajax in the head, killing him]

Why?

You were droning on.

Merry Christmas.

And a convivial Tuesday in April to you too, Pool!

Someone's not counting. [shoot] Six.

Now, if I were a 200-pound sack of assholes named Francis, where would I hide?