Карл Аллен

Hey, man. That's a nice car. Could you drive me to Elysian Park?

Oh. Ugh...

Yes! Sure he can. Right, Carl?

Yeah, why not?

Yes. You won't regret this, Carl.

Well, gracias, amigo. I mean, it's real nice of you to give me a ride. Most people just say no. Course, I have been having a lot of luck lately outside of that hotel.

No problem. Have a good night.

Can I borrow a couple bucks?

Okay. I've come this far. Yes, you can.

You got a whole lot there. Can I have it all?

Sure. It's all yours.

God bless you, man.

Hi. Did you just take my picture?

Maybe. Did you just run out of gas?

Maybe.

I just kind of went with my gut on it, Norm.

You called me Norm.

Yeah.

Could that, like, be my nickname?

Yeah. I guess.

Oh, nice. I like your style. Car. That could be yours.

Yeah. Carl's pretty short already, but...

But it's the kind of dazzle we need around here.

Know what? I called Demko this morning to ask if he could work, and know what he said?

No.

How did you know that?

He's not here.

Yeah, but you are, Car. And that's why I'm gonna give the job to you.

Norm, that's amazing. Oh, my God. Thank you.

Nice little raise in it for you too. Bump up your salary to 65.

Thousand?

Of course, thousand.

I'm telling you, man, things are different.

Okay. Wait, so wait. You have to say yes to everything?

Yeah, exactly. It's like you said: I wasn't open to stuff, and now I am... and things are changing for me. It's like the era of yes has begun.

All right. Look, gets you out of the house, I'm all for it.

Excuse me. Could we get another round of drinks? And actually, we're gonna start a tab and our good friend here, Carl, will be taking care of it. Well, you're okay with that, right, buddy?

Yes. Yes, I am.

I think you and I need to step outside.

No. God, no.

Okay, it's okay. I got this. I got this. Okay. But if I win I get to take that pretty girl of yours to a ball because she deserves that. Every pretty girl deserves to go to a ball.

That is so nice.

He punched me right in the face, man.

Don't worry. I got your back.

You don't have anybody's.

I'm sorry, man. It's all our fault.

I haven't fighted in a fight since grade 7.

I know.

Hey. Are we gonna fight or what?

Yeah, we're gonna fight. We're gonna fight, all right. Okay?

You want some, huh, more? Because I am open for business, okay? Oh, where'd I go? Oh, where'd I go? Yeah, how do you fight what you can't see? Did you see The Legend of Billy Jack? Because I'm gonna take this foot and I'm gonna whop you on that side of your face and there's not a goddamn thing you can do about it. Just don't break my teeth off on the curb, okay?

First, we have to establish the ground rules. And the ground rules are there are no ground rules.

Tillie, there you are.

Hi, Carl.

What can I do for you?

Well, I was wondering if you could help me put up some shelves.

Oh, really?

Oh, darn, I forgot to go to the bank.

Oh, that's okay.

I'm getting so forgetful. It happens with age.

Don't worry about it.

I am gonna have to repay you somehow.

Oh, just doing a favor for a neighbor is good enough for me.

You want a drink?

Oh, I can't. I have to wake up early. So I have to go, but...

Oh, really?

But you can walk me to my scooter.